Wednesday, September 24, 2014

The F word


The word Feminism has become an annoying word to many in the recent years. But after listening to Emma Watson's beautiful speech about it, I hope it is no longer the case! In case you haven't listened to the speech yet, here it is -




The speech came at this hour when it was just needed! "If not now, then when?". And the part where she mentions "how it affects men too" helped me think in a different angle about this whole situation. I realized how men were feeling compelled to portray themselves as strong and the "protector" of the group. This idea takes away his right to express his fears. And words like "man up" have just made such situations more depressing! The other side of the coin is that women are denied of being strong- she is branded as "dominating" or "controlling" if she shows some courage. Knowingly or unknowingly she ends up losing what is called "power". No, this is not a battle for power. Then why does it feel like one? When he calls her "dominating", he means to say that, "I am supposed to be the one in power and why are you trying to control me". And how she interprets is, "You are not entitled to do any courageous acts. Go and clean the house or do the dishes". And if there was one other woman in the room, she would make the situation even worse by saying something like, "We are women. We are not supposed to act this way and piss him off". Then she interprets it as "Piss him off? I am pissed off already and no one seems to care. Aren't a woman's feeling of any worth?". So this goes on and on. In this case, the man might not have even realized that he was acting like a male chauvinist. He does not see his fault since that's how the society expects him to be. Well, if he does not protest when there was another woman in the room, he would feel threatened to his "manhood". He would think that the other lady in the room might think him of being less of a man. So basically he may be just compelled to "snatch" the power when there was no battle for power in the first place.

So what can be done to this problem? Society is being blamed, but who is that? How do we control this issue?

To me, putting the right seeds about this issue to our children will definitely help. Don't limit your daughter since she is a girl. Don't give better privileges to your son for ANYTHING. Make sure your son never thinks that he is in any way better than your daughter. At the same time, don't ridicule him for not scoring better than your daughter being a boy. All this will definitely bring a change in the young minds and we can hope to see less of gender inequality in the next generation. But for this to happen, I urge all the fathers and brothers of this generation to participate in "HeforShe" - http://www.heforshe.org/#take-action

 
Hoping for a better future!

SSN

(Phew, that came out as a serious and long post. Never thought about blogging about this topic but after listening to the speech, how couldn't I?)

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

The formula for happiness


Last week, I was through an emotional roller-coaster ride. Though it is tempting, I do not want to rant about it here. I had few reasons to be happy for, but at the same time, I also had way too many reasons to worry about. And finally, things reached its peak and I lost myself. Have you ever been in a state in which you simply don’t function yourself and wait for someone to instruct you what to do next? Well, I was; for the first time in my life. 

Then later in the day, I realized what was going on. I was living in an imaginary world all these days – a world that was almost perfect with minor issues but only within a given threshold and the threshold was set by none other than me. Nothing could go wrong beyond the line I drew. But reality, on the other hand, was harsh. I had to accept the events going on in my real life instead of worrying about the pain it had caused. I had to wake up from my dreamy world. I had to deal with my emotions and put them aside and start thinking logically. 

The moment I decided to take over my emotions with logic, half of my problems seemed to have been solved. Well nothing changed, except that I felt better. It just made no sense. Then I wondered, if the formula for happiness is getting into a ‘robotic’ mode, am I doing something wrong here…

Meanwhile I came across this and found it funny.
Link : http://xkcd.com/233/
 


SSN

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

First year birthday party - Yay or Nay!



Indians are popular for making everything grand – be it weddings or funerals. Sometimes I wonder why weddings are the way they are! In all the grand weddings, if you see, the bride and the groom are tired wearing heavy jewellery and attire and posing for photographs while others have tasty food (which the couple don’t even get to enjoy) and gossip around.  But inspite of it, we do not regret having a grand wedding of ourselves. We simply hope to enjoy looking at the photographs and videos someday and showing them to our children and narrating our love tale.

Similarly, the idea of first year birthday is quite controversial. If you see, children barely enjoy the day. They are confused why they are being dressed and put in the crowd. The parents get to enjoy meeting people and having food. The guests get goodies for their children and have fun. But we still hope that the children will enjoy looking at the photographs when they are grown up. Infact I remember that my sister used to ask for photos of her first birthday party which, sadly, got lost when we moved from Bombay (now Mumbai) to Nagercoil. So the idea is to just have a party, grand or not, and bring the baby celebrating birthday to spotlight, so that we can capture some good memories which we can share with the children when they grow up. And almost all children ask about how we celebrated their first birthday.

With that note, we have decided to host a first birthday party for our twins, who will be turning a year old in a month.  But there are lots of questions that need to be answered before the party. For example, will we sing the "happy birthday" song twice? In that case, will we have to let the twins cut the cakes back to back and not together? Regardless, I am hoping to create good memories for the kids to enjoy later...

Update:
We celebrated first birthday of our children at Hotel Residency, Trivandrum. Posting pics of rainbow-themed cake and decorations we had. The idea of this cake was taken from pinterest. 




SSN

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Happy new year!



2013 was a great year for me with my twins. And life has become more interesting now as they have started to communicate and play with each other. Hoping for an interesting and adventurous year ahead! 



SSN

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Labels



I got to speak to one of my old friends recently. She was married and had a kid and so many questions running inside her head. She said that there were times when she felt that she should have stayed single but still chose to stay married for the sake of unclear future and anxiety of being lonely. Also she did not want the labels that would stick to her if she gets a divorce.
Later, I took a stroll at the Jimmy Choo store at UB City mall here. The sumptuous display and the glitters in the ‘Abel’ pumps made me try them out. Then I asked the ultimate question- about the price. Though it was not difficult to afford, I did not buy as I considered it to be over-priced. But why would I spend so much for no one would even recognize my Choo as I am not walking the red carpet. But if not spend for the Choo, what am I going to do with the money. I will put this money for the apartment I would purchase or may be save it for the future or blow it on buying a new car or something . I am not sure. But if people can spend their valuable life for the sake of an uncertain future, why not simply spend on a lousy Choo? But again, I wondered, do the labels matter?
But then I got into thinking- I am sure I will be labeled as “spendthrift” if I had bought the Choo. But if a guy spends his money to buy the latest expensive cellphone as soon as it gets launched, he is a “gadget geek”!
This issue with giving different labels to women and men is not new to us. A woman is called “crazy” if she says something that the accusing man does not want to hear. She is “over-reacting” if he does not want her to react. If a man is playing pranks and joking around, he is “fun” but the woman who does the same is “immature” or "not a lady". Mostly, these labels are meant to suppress her from showing her emotions and expressing what she thinks. This reminds me of Bree Van de Kamp from Desperate Housewives who says that women need to wear a “mask” to hide their emotions to have power over men – quite debatable though.
While I was thinking about all these labels women have to carry, I came across this recent Pantene Ad Campaign coincidentally which for sure would strike a bell to almost all women.



"Don't let labels hold you back. Be strong and shine."

SSN 

P.S. I did not buy 'Abel' as I discovered similar looking ones in Zara and it is not as expensive as Jimmy Choo's. And ofcourse, labels don't matter.
 

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Why wait...



... till the new year to eat healthy or hit the gym or stop smoking?




Tomorrow never comes, but the new year does?


SSN

Thursday, November 21, 2013

From 1 B.C. to 1 A.D.

It has been two years since my last update in this blog. Lots of events and updates to share! Lots of travel, then pregnancy, holding my twin babies, post-pregnancy blues, keeping up with my career, the list goes on. It has been a roller-coaster ride, I should say!
Life is totally different now- I am in my A.D. phase now, "After Delivery" that is. My B.C. (Before Children) was pretty much packed with days which had no proper routine and we had the freedom to go-anywhere-anytime without much of planning. All I had to do was grab was my favorite handbag and a matching pair of shoes. But now, who cares about matching shoes for the diaper bag that I carry around! I barely fit into my old clothes! Life is really busy with my office work and chores at home. I sometimes wonder what I used to do with all this time earlier. And my experienced friends say that it will never settle down and is going to be an uphill. Though it scared me initially, I have started to make peace with this fact. Since then, I am enjoying this life.


When you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it.   - Theodore Roosevelt

Hoping to make more posts.

SSN